Many people find writing about themselves harder than almost anything else. If you are staring at a blank box wondering what to say, you are in good company. The secret is that a good profile is not clever or polished. It simply sounds like you, and gives the next person an easy reason to say hello.
Start with your photos
Photos are the first thing people notice, so they are worth a little thought.
- Make your main photo a clear, recent one. A face in good light, ideally smiling, with nothing covering your eyes. Sunglasses and hats are best left for the other pictures.
- Add a variety. Three to five photos work well: one close up, one full length, and a couple of you doing something you enjoy, such as walking, cooking, travelling or gardening.
- Keep them honest. Use pictures from the last couple of years. Meeting someone who looks quite different from their photos is an awkward start for everyone.
- Choose pictures just of you. Group shots can leave people guessing which one you are.
- Ask a friend. A friend with a phone camera on a sunny afternoon often does better than any studio.
Write a few sentences, not an essay
Aim for a short paragraph or two. Think of it as the opening of a conversation, not your whole life story. A simple structure works well:
- A line about who you are. Where you live, what you did or do for work, or what you are like in a sentence.
- A few things you enjoy. Be specific. "I love walking the coast path at weekends and trying new recipes" tells someone far more than "I enjoy life".
- What you are looking for. Companionship, a relationship, friendship first, whatever is true for you.
- An invitation. Finish with a question or a prompt, such as "Tell me about the best place you have ever visited".
An example to borrow from
"I live near Leeds and recently retired from teaching, which means I finally have time for the things I kept putting off. I love long walks, old films and a good Sunday roast. I would like to meet someone kind with a sense of humour, to share days out and perhaps a lot more. What is the best book you have read this year?"
Notice how it is friendly, specific and has a question at the end. Swap in your own details and you are most of the way there.
Things that put people off
- A long list of things you do not want. It can read as bitter, even when it is not meant that way. Say what you do want instead.
- Vague phrases. "Just ask" and "I like to have fun" do not give anyone much to respond to.
- Talking mainly about the past. Your history matters, but lead with who you are now and what you are looking forward to.
- Exaggeration. Honesty builds trust, and trust is what makes a first date feel easy.
Keep your details private
Your profile is visible to other members, so leave out your home address, your full date of birth, your workplace and anything that could be used to work out your daily routine. Mentioning the town or area you live in is plenty. Our guide to dating safely has more on protecting your information.
Read it aloud
Before you save it, read your profile out loud. Does it sound like you talking to a new friend? If it feels stiff, simplify it. Then ask someone you trust to read it too. A fresh pair of eyes will often spot something you have missed.
You can always change it
A profile is not a final draft. If you are not getting the conversations you hoped for, try a different main photo or rewrite the opening line. Small changes can make a big difference. And if you have just started out, our plan for your first week will help you settle in.
Ready to write yours? Join free and see how easy it is.
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