Most people you meet online are exactly who they say they are: friendly, a little nervous and hoping to meet someone nice. A few sensible habits make meeting someone new safer for everyone, and they soon become second nature. Here is what we suggest, from the first message to the first date.
While you are chatting
Take your time
There is no deadline. Someone who is genuinely interested will be happy to get to know you gradually. If a new contact pushes you to move fast, share more or make a decision quickly, treat that as a reason to slow down.
Keep the conversation on the site
You do not need to swap numbers or move to another app straight away. Chatting on the site while you are still getting to know someone keeps your own contact details private.
Protect your personal and financial details
Keep your home address, workplace, full date of birth and daily routine to yourself until you know someone well. Never share bank details, card numbers, passwords or one time codes with anyone you have met online.
Spot the signs of a romance scam
Romance scammers build trust and then ask for money. Common warning signs include:
- Declarations of love very early on, from someone you have never met.
- A reason why they can never meet in person or appear on video.
- A sudden emergency, such as a medical bill, a stranded trip or a business problem, that needs money urgently.
- Requests for gift cards, money transfers or cryptocurrency.
- A profile that seems too perfect, or a story that changes when you ask questions.
Never send money to someone you have not met in person, however convincing the story. If something feels wrong, stop replying and report the profile.
Before you meet
- Have a video chat first. A few minutes on camera helps confirm they are who they say they are, and it takes the edge off first date nerves.
- Tell a friend. Share who you are meeting, where and when, and arrange to message them afterwards.
- Choose a public place. A busy café, a pub lunch or a popular park is ideal. Save quieter spots for when you know each other better.
- Make your own way there and back. It means you can leave whenever you like.
- Charge your phone and keep it with you.
On the date
- Keep the first meeting short. A coffee or a stroll is plenty, and you can always arrange a longer second date.
- Keep an eye on your drink and your belongings.
- Go easy on the alcohol so you stay clear headed.
- Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it is perfectly fine to leave. You do not owe anyone an explanation.
If something does not feel right
Stop replying, block the person and report them using the tools on the site or app where you met. If you have been asked for money or think you have been a victim of fraud, contact your bank straight away and report it to Action Fraud. If you are ever in immediate danger, call 999.
Ready for the fun part? Have a look at our first date ideas, or read more about us.
- safety
- online dating
- first dates